I Don't Know What I Know

What do you do when what you feel or what you experience doesn’t line up with what you believe?

 

I am what you would probably consider a “Baby Christian”.  You know, you can stay young in your Christianity your entire life without maturing.  You can walk with great stride, stumble along or dig your nails into the dirt to pull yourself along on the road to Heaven in this life depending on your maturity in your faith.  Have you ever asked yourself which kind of walker you are?  What does it mean to be a mature Christian versus a baby Christian?  I could maybe tell you which is easiest… but what do I know?

Recently, I’ve been going through some things that have shaken what I thought about how strong my faith must be.  It’s so easy to feel discouraged when you can’t see the purpose through the pain.  Am I on the right path?  Yes… on my belly with my nails in the dirt. 

Must keep moving. 

I have been fervently searching for answers… inspiration… motivation… reasons…

Why do I still feel so much confusion?  I must be failing.

The other day, I plugged in to one of Joyce Meyer’s sermons on my Roku while I was folding laundry.  She was talking about how the faith of a Christian can be shaken when they don’t fully know the Word of God.  It’s not enough to hear a sermon at church once a week.  The Word must be studied. 

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Philippians 3:10-11  My goal is to know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, assuming that I will somehow reach the resurrection from among the dead.

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Job 19:25-27  But I know my living Redeemer, and He will stand on the dust at last.  Even after my skin has been destroyed, yet I will see God in my flesh. I will see Him myself; my eyes will look at Him, and not as a stranger. My heart longs within me. 

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She said another word…”revelation”.  She said, “We have a lot of information without revelation.”

Hm… revelation and knowing.  These are two different things, and yet I've not experienced how different until this morning while listening to Stephen Furdick’s sermon, “I Don’t Know What I Believe.”

You see, if you know God’s truth and His Character, without having any revelation of it, that truth can become unclear when we are facing hard circumstances.  I always thought that knowing God more, getting closer to Him by studying would mean I would become more certain of his truths.  His love for me.  When I believe what I know and I know what I believe…life shouldn’t be so hard.  Right? 

The problem is, my faith works very well when I know the answer…but it’s easily shaken when my circumstances are unclear.  When I can’t see the purpose beyond the confusion.  As human beings, we look for measurable answers to back up what we believe.  Many times, you can see that in our faith driven lives!  Sometimes we can see the purpose…especially when the pain doesn't last very long.  But we don’t just need a faith that works when we know the answer.  In his sermon, Furdick says, “We need a faith that answers YES to the ways of God, even when what we are facing is very unclear.”

Can you have confidence in your relationship with God when you don’t have understanding of His workings?  Another thing we, as humans, tend to do is define God’s character through our circumstances.  Again…looking for that measurable evidence of God’s existence and love for us.  When, instead, we should be defining our circumstances through His character.

Now… I’m not quite sure I’m very good at that just yet.  I'm determined to get there.  But the Apostle Paul knew that truth very well…

2 Timothy 1:9-14  He has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace, which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began. This has now been made evident through the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who has abolished death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel. For this gospel I was appointed a herald, apostle, and teacher and that is why I suffer these things.  But I am not ashamed, because I know the One I have believed in and am persuaded that He is able to guard what has been entrusted to me until that day. Hold on to the pattern of sound teaching that you have heard from me, in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. Guard, through the Holy Spirit who lives in us, that good thing entrusted to you.

You see, Paul didn’t believe in a thing… his belief was founded on a truth that was for us before time began…made evident by Jesus’s appearance. His knowledge was great, but it wasn't backed up by a measurable thing.  It was backed up by a revelation of the One who died for him!  This man was in prison, in chains, in pain, and yet his faith was not shaken.  His words reached us still… all of us.  Every single person in this present day can read his words and gain inspiration and receive revelation by opening the books he wrote and meditating on them.

There is a song I've been hearing on the radio that I so wish I could remember right now… but it’s echo is ringing in my ears… Until I can find the title and artist, here is the ‘jist’ of the message:  

Let Your (God’s) character’s evidence be shown in my life.  Let His strength be seen through my struggles and pain.  Let my pain have purpose in someone else’s life. 

You know, where I am weak is where God can shine.  Maybe it’s time to finally stop trying to figure out life and let God do His thing.  I know He’s pretty good at that.  I've got to learn how to let go, and that is going to be my goal going forward. 

Last thought.  It’s paraphrased from Stephen’s message.  I can’t do much better than simply this…

It’s okay not to know everything you believe… you can STILL follow Christ with full faith.  The less you understand, the more you know you need Him.  And the more you know you need Him, the more faithful He can show Himself on your behalf. 

To be continued…